Give me coffee or give me death!!
7/29/08 1:35pm
I like my coffee steamy, dark black, and within arms reach at all times. I have my spiffy coffee maker set most nights to automatically start brewing at 6:30am (I get up around 7am) so when I wake up in the morning, I have that wonderful smell of freshly brewed coffee in the house and it's the only true way to start a morning. If the kids are screaming for breakfast, diapers need changed, baby needs a bottle, house is a wreck, it's all totally doable if I can sneak some sips of coffee as I'm going through my morning. Imagine my horror to find NO COFFEE left when I woke up this morning. Oh, I knew it was coming ("oops, forgot to buy some on my way home") but some sick sense of denial I walk around with just refused to let me acknowledge it was really true. Wake up, zombie walk to the kitchen, no coffee... NO COFFEE!?!? WORLD CRASHES AROUND ME!! THE SUN IS TOO BRIGHT! THE KIDS ARE TOO LOUD! WHY AM I WITHOUT COFFEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!! Hubby says "I think there's some french vanilla beans, grind them up and make some coffee". Then with a kiss, he's off to work and I'm off to start a day of HELL!! What does "grind them up" mean? Maxwell House comes ground up and has this neat little scoop that I've grown accustomed to. It says 3 scoops but I put in 4 1/2 because that's the real perfect amount. Standing in the kitchen I'm staring at this bag of coffee beans that some relative must have given us for some holiday who knows how long ago. It doesn't smell like coffee... it smells like my french vanilla lotion. Ok, so grind the beans... and I'll give you a few tips as to what will NOT work for this process (in case, like myself, you don't own a coffee bean grinder): - Meat Tenderizer - You know, that hammer looking thing that you use to hit meat with to make it all soft and tender. Beans FLYING EVERYWHERE! - Whisk Handle - This one came to me from my old college chem class days. Little bowl, stick thing with a round bottom, doesn't work. The beans are round, the handle is round, beans rolling all over the bowl, very frustrating. Maybe if I had a little coffee in me, I could have handled it but then again, if I had coffee, wouldn't need to do crazy stuff like this. What did work... well, sort of... Garlic Crusher! Not sure the technical term there but it's the little plier looking thing that you put a piece of garlic in, squeeze and there you have pieces of garlic. Put a couple of beans in, squeeze, stir them a little, squeeze, stir, squeeze, you get the idea. About 20 minutes later, you have enough coffee beans to make a pot of coffee. Maybe I didn't use enough beans, maybe it's just the way those beans were supposed to be made, but what in the WORLD did I do? I pour a cup of "coffee" and I can see the bottom of my cup, it's like drinking warmed up ice tea... and it tastes like a flower! I'm sipping my coffee trying to pretend that it's the good stuff, hey, it's warm at least right? If you're reading this... honey... don't forget the coffee on your way home!! |